Our day...

So far Matthew's hanging in there with his new school. He is excited to be learning to play the TUBA in band class! I'm proud that he's trying!
We had our monthly caseworker visit today. She's the sweetest! She's young, full of gumption & willing to fight for what she believes in. We got to discuss with her our concerns & possible need in the near future of finding another foster home for our lil guy to be transferred to. We love him dearly but know it would probably not work having him with us if/when we start staying (possibly) with my grandmother. We've also been preparing ourselves for his return to his mom but today got news it may very well not go that way. That will all depend on how she does with getting her life in order. We'd said if he was available for adoption that we would want to adopt him. I think this bit of news is not from the Lord for some reason though. We still feel like some sort of missions is where God wants us. If we kept him until the next court date, when mom is supposed to have all her ducks in a row, it could go either way...then if there is TPR (termination of parental rights), then we could proceed with the adoption but could still take years to be completed...which means it would take that much longer to get to where we feel the Lord is leading us. In my heart, I don't "see" us with him permanently & that is hard to say since I would normally want to adopt as many children as we could & have a houseful. Could I be just trying to protect my own "mama heart" or is it just the evil one putting question & doubt in our minds to throw us off from what we feel led to do?? Honestly, I've tried to protect my heart & feel there is some other road we're supposed to go down in the near future.
We've got alot of praying to do. We don't want to make hasty decisions & miss out on the adventures the Lord has for us!
We're still in the planning stages of simplifying & down-sizing. It's kind of hard to know where to start. With our work schedules, it makes it hard to get much done. I'm thinking it will be nice to go thru & pretty much make a fresh start & on a new path.
I don't know if any of this post makes sense. I feel yucky thanks to sinus mess, so there's no telling what my ramblings might or might not sound like. So anyone who might read this, please join us in prayer! Thank you!