Where do I start?

It's amazing what changes we have gone thru in our little family. There are so many thoughts going thru my mind so it might not make much sense right off. Since this is my first "blog", I will try to group ideas like most folks do.
First off, I didn't really think we as a family had anything to really blog about, much less anything anybody else would be interested in! We probably still don't, but after the last couple days, I felt like I could use a place to put my thoughts, ideas, concerns, any news, etc.
Secondly, I didn't think I could commit to spending time "writing" since I usually snag time every once in while just to read emails. I just kind of feel like it's something I need/want to do now, so I'll give it a shot. Also I have found several bloggers that I like to check in on & I can have them on my own blog page.
Anyway, I still don't know where to really start. Over the last few months, we've gone thru struggles financially, spiritually, etc. We have always wanted to raise our family with Christian values & have a home church to call our own, like the way I was raised. Church was an important part of my youth since I was raised by a minister but DH (Eddie) was not. Two worlds have come together in a sense. Not saying one way or another is better or worse, just different. So we've tried to get the best of both our worlds & use them to build a good home for our family.
We've (I've) felt like "something was missing" in our life to some extent but haven't been able to put my finger on it.
We felt led as a family to persue being licensed as foster parents. The process went well considering and wasn't as bad as we expected it to be. (Especially the thought of having DHEC come into our home. I was a nervous wreck. The house had never been so clean! LOL) We got our license in March & our first foster son in April. We had been waiting for that first call! (I will try to only give initials when referring to the foster kids for confidentiality reasons.) "JJ" was 23 months old & as sweet as he could be! We fell in love with him immediately! We knew there was a possibility he would be returned to his family but had so many things we wanted to do with him first. We tried to prepare our hearts for the inevitable. After all we had been thru with him (being in the hospital with him the first 5 days we knew him, all the Dr visits, etc), it was so hard to let him go knowing we probably wouldn't get to interact with him again.
The Lord sent us a respite placement I'll call "D". We had him for 10 days or so. He was 3 years old & sweet, handful. He was busy and a good playmate for "JJ". We, honestly, were thankful to get back to having just the one 2 year old...=)
June 16th, 2008, we got a call about 4:40 p.m. asking if we would be interested in getting a 4 month old baby boy that DSS "might be" taking into custody. Eddie & I discussed it about 10 minutes before the DSS office called back to see if we were able & willing. We agreed to take him & picked "MW" up at our foster parent meeting at 6:30 p.m. that very night. On top of all this, Eddie had to work so he wasn't able to get to help with our transition time. Babies are babies but there's still the need to "get to know" a baby & that just takes time. Besides we haven't had a baby in the house in a while so we were alittle rusty! He is the sweetest, smiling-est (is that a word???), blue-eyed, baby. He's made good progress in his development & head re-shaping since it was on the "flat" side. He's even cutting his first bottom tooth. He love, love, loves to eat his rice cereal & baby food!
Well that's the most update on our actual foster placements so far. We have been planning to get our "adoption license" so we're ready in case of any future TPR (termination of parental rights) cases we might encounter. We actually are supposed to go for the orientation session tomorrow in Greenville but have since discussed it, deciding it isn't an urgent issue for us right now. Not saying we won't reschedule but we feel like the Lord is leading us in a different way than we expected.
Even after finding a church we can call home, getting our foster parent license, having a couple new little people in our home & feeling like we were headed on the right track in life...we (I) STILL feel like there's something "missing". But what in the world could it be??? We have always wanted a "farm". We got a pretty good start with chickens & rabbits but for some reason that has even seemed to be put on the back burner for one reason or another.
Recently, we have lost a few rabbits & 2 chickens, we believe in most part from the heat...Woody, our Boykin Spaniel, died last month, leaving us with the 2 "girls", Ginger the German Shepard & Shelby the Shih-tzu.
In the last couple weeks we began discussing the possibility of facing another move. The house we live in has low ceilings & Matthew is 5'6 already & not even 11 years old yet. I can't fully extend my arms without hitting the ceiling. I was surprised when Eddie & I discussed it that he was accepting of this to some extent, even though we truely hate to move. We agreed that it wouldn't hurt to be open to the idea of moving. We'd love to buy our own home vs renting but even that doesn't feel "right" yet. I told Eddie tonight that I feel almost like we're at a dead end with the "farm" thing right now. I'd been feeling like we needed to downsize some on our animals & if not downsize, just not replace any of them at this point. It's just a weird feeling. Well when we started talking about the possibility of looking for a new home, I felt like it might be time to start clearing some clutter. I haven't gotten very much done except cleaning out Matthew's closet & trying to clean out his room alittle. I still have a long way to go! I haven't been a great big hurry but think there might be another reason to pace myself & get it done. I've even considered going thru my "craft" stuff (that I have had good intentions of using) & thinning things out. That says alot for me!
Friday night (the 9th), I was surfin' the net & checked on my MySpace page, clicked on Christie Hagerman's page. There I found her blog link & much to my surprise, they are preparing to go to Peru as missionaries!!! Since this is getting so long, I will try to cut it short & write more later. We surprised Christie, Ken & their girls at College Park Worship Center in Greenville for a sort of reunion & to find out more about mission trips, etc. What a treat that was!!! I will try to organize my "missions" thoughts in another blog. So stay tuned! Oh & we would very much appreciate any prayers from anyone who happens across this blog...we need all the Guidance we could possibly get!