Our Christmas

I hope everybody had a Blessed Christmas! Even though Eddie had to work we had a good time. Matthew opened one gift Christmas Eve night. It was the 2nd Chronicles of Narnia "Prince Caspian" movie so we enjoyed watching that together. I got Matthew to help me some with cleaning the house (not that you can tell I did anything now...) & rearranging some furniture. We hadn't put up a Christmas tree for various reasons. With some rearranging, we made a place for a small tree & decorated with only white lights. It was good enough for us. Christmas just isn't "Christmas" without a tree...
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We got Matthew up at 6 A.M. so Eddie could see him open his gifts. Matthew got an electric guitar & was pleased. We all got a sort of an "I.O.U" card since we're waiting for paychecks to begin from our apartment cleaning job & the job with PSA. It gives us something to look forward to even after Christmas & show our love on this special day. Eddie wrote me a beautiful letter expressing his love & gratitude. In this letter he gave me an IOU for cell phone accessories & the 3 Santa Clause movies. I gave him an IOU for flying lessons at our local airport. He had mentioned he would love to learn to fly & we saw an ad for lessons. So we're excited about that! Weather permitting, he will take his first lesson Sunday afternoon. He's excited & ready to get started.
Matthew & I went to grandma's for lunch. We missed Eddie since he was at work...even though we're still thankful that his job has held out this long. My mom went over early to get the ham in the oven. My dear grandma didn't realize it was Christmas. She seemed out of sorts at times & alittle irritated with the little people leaving stuff in the floor or banging the piano. I bet she wanted to turn her hearing aids off...We had a good time with family even though we were missing a couple family members. Amy & her family had gone to West Virginia to be with her husband's family. Calvin & his family didn't venture out while I was there at G'ma's. We did get to spend time with Trista & her baby Tianna. Tianna is a ham! I had so much fun playing with her. We miss getting to see them as often as we used to. She's learned to give kisses & then say "EWWWW!!!!" LOL She just turned 2 in September & has had some developmental delays due to hydrocephaly. She's come a long way.
I was supposed to come home & unthaw meat for supper. I took the meat out of the freezer & decided to stretch out to watch some TV...well, needless to say, I fell asleep...not a sound sleep but enough to make me late getting supper started. We decided we could try to find a restaurant that was open & went into town after Eddie got off work. We thought we were going to be out of luck until we found that Hardees was open. What a wonderful "Christmas dinner", huh? Actually we had our mouths set on burgers & when we got to the pickup window, we were told the broiler thingy was broken...so we settled for chicken sandwiches instead...Guess I shouldn't have given in to the sleepies & should've started working on supper. It was good to get home & relax though.
We made the trip to pick up Eddie's youngest daughter, Karissa. Thankfully the trip was uneventful. We're glad to be back home & able to visit with her. It's rainy & cool. We'd rather have some snow but oh well. Eddie doesn't want snow since he's looking forward to his flying lesson Sunday...
Right now we're listening to Matthew practice learning his guitar while watching the instructional DVD. We hope he doesn't get too discouraged & will stick with it. I want to learn to play the piano/keyboard. Eddie says we can learn the instruments & he will fly us everywhere. LOL...
I guess that's all for our "exciting" lives...haha. Maybe we can have alittle "fun" on New Year's Eve since Eddie will be off work. We're looking forward to the New Year & what's to come. Eddie & I plan to have alittle more "mama & daddy time" this year, if at all possible.

Stuff

Well Christmas is approaching quickly, but I've managed to stay out of the stress that can sometimes be included (so far). I feel bad since I haven't gotten any decorations out...we've gotten rid of stuff which includes one entertainment center, our livingroom couch, etc...so our home isn't in order right now anyway. I guess I've just been soaking in other folks' decorations.
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On another note, since quitting my job at the rehab hospital, I'm anticipating orientation with the home health for kids job. Also, I've started the apartment cleaning job. Matthew & I cleaned our first apartment yesterday. We accepted it as a learning experience to get familiar with what we needed to do & get a sort of routine so we're thorough but quick. Today was our second apartment, after we finished some last minute things from the first apt...atleast now we're more organized & know more of what to expect. I'm so proud of Matthew for picking up so fast on what needed to be done, taking the initiative when it came time to get on the ladder to change light bulbs, etc. Right now, he's very motivated to see how much money "we"/he can make so we're working on work ethic, responsibility, etc. After we got home, it was time to work on his school work...he said, "I've been WORKING all day! I don't want to work on school work!" LOL Poor guy! I guess 2-3 hrs total seemed like "all day". Atleast it is a start to showing him what "work" is. =)
In the meantime, today we got the first phone call regarding our ad to sell the suburban. We hope & pray this is God's Will! It would help our finances & get ourselves back on even keel, we hope! So hopefully we will know more tomorrow. If anybody reads this, please pray for God's Will to be done with this situation as well.
We've enjoyed getting more involved/attending my dad's church in Due West. We went Sunday & I fixed lunch for us & dad after church. Mom took grandma to her church so she wasn't able to be there with us. We're looking forward to getting more involved & helping where we can. As church was starting, I dug around in my bag, found a toy car that I had for "JJ" (our first foster son) & gave it to a little guy sitting behind us. He's 2, I think & is a sweetie! I thought it would entertain him alittle while...he loved the car, then he found the pull string that makes the car make NOISE...Ohhhh what have I done! LOL Good thing my daddy is the preacher! I mouthed "Sorry" to his mom who was trying to convince him not to make the noise...he wasn't happy & the poor guy ended up in the nursery (with his new car)...I felt so bad!!!!!!! I plan to pack more toddler friendly/quiet church toys in the future!
Thankfully Eddie still has his job! We're thankful for all the Blessings the Lord has placed in our lives! We're still praying for guidance but trying to be more specific in the next step of our adventure & maybe even alittle more info on the big picture God has in store for us. We'll see what He says!

Evolution? Eddie's thoughts

  I thought I  would  do a little blogging today, I feel lead to talk about certain things from time to time  I  don’t know why last time I  blogged it was about prophesy to I want to get down a few thoughts about evolution.
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   Some people try to say that we all evolved to be what we are today; they to believe that every species of animal and plant all came from the same primordial ooze. They completely ignore the mathematical improbability of the spontaneous creation of life. Some even go so far as admitting to intelligent design theory; you can research all this easily for yourself so I will not go into these theories.
 
I want you to think about all the different types of animals and plants you know of; walk out to your front yard and look around, try to count the number of different trees you can see. Now you tell me, if we are creatures of evolution, why would there be so many completely different types of trees would it not be logical to evolve to the most efficient type tree for each climate? If we are the apex evolution of the mammal then where is the reptile with the ability to reason? If evolution started in the water why do we see no intelligent fish?
  I guess it can get a little silly when you start thinking about it. But if we evolved to be as adaptable as we are it would seem logical to me that our adaptability and intelligence should have evolved into some other life form also.
Scientist can even support evolution with fossil records there are way too many missing links or what they call transitional phase fossils. But scientist can give evidence that the whole world was once under water they find fish fossils at elevations above 15000 feet.
 
While to me my understanding there is nowhere near enough evidence to prove evolution, there is an abundance of verifiable facts to prove the bible. And to prove that it is history written in advance. And nothing in the bible has ever been proven wrong. Yet Darwin disowned his theory and said it was in error.
 
As for me I will stand on the truth

It's about the Cross

I don't know if this will work...YAY!! It worked! I found this on a 'friend's' blog & thought it was really special. I'd never heard of the group Go Fish but I'll be looking for more of their music.
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This is off the subject but...anybody who reads this is probably going to think I've gone insane...With Eddie's job on the line, I officially quit my primary job (where I haven't worked in a month due to downstaffing, since the patient load was down for the holiday. I also was only working "prn" & a day or more/week). I am looking forward to starting another job next week so I'm not completely unemployed. I do feel alittle crazy for doing it, especially now, but I just couldn't stand the thought of going back...I think I can put a finger on what's going on with me as far as being a nurse is considered...I think "floor nursing" is what's getting to me. Having 8-10 patients, who I feel like I barely touch on their needs besides throwing pills at them & running off to give more to someone else. This "new" job is home health for medically needy kids. It will be one-on-one & hopefully alot less stressful.
Anyway, it's official now especially after I called the charge nurse yesterday evening so they wouldn't be expecting me today (Sunday)...they were probably going to downstaff me anyway...A few minutes later, I got a call from a dear friend. Her mom is a manager for a low income apartment complex in a town close by. (Keep in mind, our finances have been tight since I wasn't able to work last month.) So right here at Christmas it's alittle tough to think positive...But her call was telling me about her mom needing someone to clean apartments for future residents. The pay sounds good. It wouldn't be consistent work but I was really excited thinking this might be the "break" I've been looking for. Maybe it's some quick cash. Eddie said, "It's pretty bad you have a 3-4 year degree & you'll be working as a maid." But he said he didn't mind if it was something I wanted to do. I've been saying for the last year or so that I was about ready to go stock shelves at Walmart...just for the break of having to "take care of anybody"...I think I'll always have the nurturing nature, I just want to make a difference when I do it! Anyway, hopefully I'll hear something soon about this new little adventure so I can see if it's for me! Also, dear Matthew is excited about helping me. He has hopes of making some extra cash for himself, so we'll see!
On another note, Eddie still has his job, Thank the Lord! We hope it will make it til atleast the first of the year, but if it can make it another week or so, he'll get his vacation pay, plus maybe a couple days off.
In the meantime, my muscles are sore from moving an entertainment center & couch yesterday that we gave to a family who needed it. So we're making some progress in our downsizing. We still have a ways to go but taking it day by day makes it alittle less overwhelming. Hopefully we can make alittle money off of some stuff but we'll give away as much as we can to those who need/want it.
We're also feeling the call to attend my dad's church more often. The drive is not bad at all. The people are so down to earth & friendly. We have enjoyed & still want to stay somewhat involved in "our" church. We feel like dad's church could use what we can give in our tithe, & help with the church/youth. We'll see where the Lord leads us!

Our day yesterday

Even though we didn't buy one, I feel it's my 'duty' to give my opinion on the Kirby vacuum demo we had yesterday! =) Eddie answered the door to a nice lady (holding a 2 liter Pepsi) asking to speak to the 'lady of the house'...By the time I got to the door, he'd already told her that we weren't going to be interested. Me & my big mouth accepted when the lady said she'd get paid just for showing it, even though she knew we wouldn't be able to buy one. I will say she & the main demonstrator were very nice, professional & eager to persuade us to buy one. I'd LOVE to have one but can't imagine paying that much money for one. The guy said there is a lifetime warranty, if the vac can't be repaired, a new vac would replace the old. So basically you'd never have to buy another vacuum cleaner again. I guess with the economy in the shape it's in, if Kirby went under, that would end your 'never have to buy a vac again'...Ohhh the dirt they pulled from my carpet...how embarrassing. He reassured me it wasn't 'my fault' but our not so beloved Dirt Devil (that has given us trouble since the day we bought it). The carpet the young man worked on in our living room is definitely cleaner. I would've loved to have the shampooer that came as an attachment but oh well...The guy said there's even a 'pet groomer' attachment. My sweet Shelby (Shih tzu) HATES the vacuum cleaner so I couldn't imagine her letting me vacuum her!! =) Anyway, that was our excitement for the day.
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On a different note, I had an interview before Thanksgiving with Pediatric Services of America (PSA) which is home health nursing for kids. I called yesterday (like the director told me to) & she said everything was good to go as far as getting me hired back in. The money's not as good as the hospital but I'm thinking it will be less stressful. I've come to the conclusion that 'floor nursing', having 8-10 patients I'm supposed to meet the needs for, running up & down the halls 'pushing pills' is what's bothering me the most...reason I haven't found my niche. After being in the nursing profession for 16 years, I don't feel like I'm completely burnt out on nursing, it's the type of nursing, I think. I want to make a difference & love what I do. I pray the Lord will put me where I can fulfill that dream.
I guess that's all for now.

Praise!

Eddie called from work this morning (Praise the Lord he still has a job!) saying his boss told him to keep doing what he was doing, that he would be ok for now. We don't know how long that is going to last but for now we're Thankful!!! In the meantime, we're going to be using our time wisely & still downsize!
Another Praise is we were able to get a refund for Matthew's "lost books" we had to pay for before we could withdraw him from public school to home school! The check was exactly what our car insurance payment is!!! Hallelujah! We knew it would come when we needed it!
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We are so thankful for my parents & family. Mom has been collecting boxes for us to help us when the time comes to move! We are so Blessed!! Not to mention the fact they are willing to put up with us AGAIN whether it be us living in our camper in their backyard or living in the house with them, if/when it comes down to our move.
Another Blessing in our life is our dear friend Ashley who I've known since she was about 5 years old. She's the greatest! She's helping us get a great deal on a Christmas gift & took some sweet pictures of us. I can't show them too much because some of the pictures are going to be for Christmas gifts! We're frugal this year for sure!!
Well, Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!

Something is coming...

We don't know what, when, where or how but we know things are happening for a reason. I got "downstaffed" again which means no work, therefore no pay...I haven't worked in a couple weeks. Normally, the lack of a paycheck at all is rather scarey. We are at Peace about it because we know the Lord is taking care of us. I do have an interview tomorrow with a home health company that specializes in kids. I was supposed to work tonight & then go for the interview tomorrow. Then the lady I'm interviewing with called me to say we could meet earlier if it was ok with me. Then I got downstaffed. Hopefully this is going to be a good thing!
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Eddie went & checked the mail & brought in an envelope that had a letter in it with the amount I had in "retirement" from when I worked as a school nurse. I didn't even know there was anything really invested that I could get out...I called & the man I talked to was so nice & said it wasn't hard to do, offered me several options, etc. It's not a huge amount but it will be a Blessing to have, hopefully won't be a big enough amount to affect our taxes next year, cuz ya know Uncle Sam is going to get "his". It's like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's taking awhile to get caught up. We're so Thankful for the folks we have to work with when it comes to our "debt". Our landlord is a Christian man who has been wonderful & the place where we bought our van has been gracious & understanding as well. Now if we can get some things paid off altogether, life would be a bit easier. It's happening slowly but we're thankful it's even happening at all!
I got to talk to my precious friend/"sister" in NC today. She's such a "love" & has blossomed into a beautiful Christian woman, mother & wife. I always knew she was a great person & we had so much in common but years ago, I didn't know if she was saved...I should've ventured out to find out but I wasn't as strong as I should've been. She called me one day to tell me she'd been saved!!!!!! What a relief that was!! Unfortunately she's having a rough time in her marriage right now. We got to talk awhile today & we were able to encourage each other. She's such a Blessing to have in my life!!!!!!!
I'm thankful everyday for my dear husband. We will have our 5th year wedding anniversary in February & 7 year anniversary of togetherness in March. I don't tell him enough but I am so Thankful for him, his dedication to our marriage/family, providing for us & now he's taken over the "budget" to lessen some stress & anxiety on my part. It has been nice to not have to deal with it & nice to have an "allowance" to get groceries without the headache that goes along with crunching the numbers. Thank you, Baby! So another thing to be thankful for is he's such a Jack of all trades! I now have more ram in my computer & his self-taught abilities have come in so handy! He's definitely been given talent in so many areas from our wonderful God! We hope to put these talents to use in the near future especially if it's in a foreign country!
I hope whoever reads this has a wonderfully Blessed Thanksgiving!!!!!

Our weekend

Each day Eddie still "has to go to work" is a blessing. We're thankful he still has a job at the moment. The "big meeting" is tomorrow so I guess we'll find out more then.
We loaded up 3 toy boxes with some toys & took them to the Salvation Army. Atleast it's one less thing to have on my list of things to do. I've managed to make a list of what we're getting rid of & have plans for alot of it, thank the Lord! There's still alot to do but we'll get it day by day.
Things have been happening gradually whether it is motivation to take care of some stuff, thoughts of how things are going to work out, even feeling led to participate more at my dad's church (in a near town, about 30 minutes away) & then in hopes of not sounding morbid, our single gold fish who's been lingering in his 10 gallon aquarium, finally gave up. It seems like things are falling into place & we are receiving some Guidance. The reason I say that about the fish is I'd been needing to buy some distilled water to add to his tank because with the filter running, it was sounding like a waterfall since the water level was about 2 gals short...It was kind of getting on my nerves, but I knew he wasn't exactly the healthiest of fishies because he had a small "growth" (like a wart) on the side of his head. I figured it was a matter of time. I also hoped we wouldn't have to "find a home" for him if he lingered. I guess that sounds selfish to not want to have to deal with the fish/aquarium during all this. Now it's just a matter of emptying the tank, etc & finding someone who wants it.
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Another thing is feeling led to start helping with my dad's church. We'd been to the church where he is pastor but not regularly since we've had our "own" church that we all love, plus the drive is about 30 minutes away. Tonight I took Matthew & our nephew to dad's church for their Thanksgiving dinner they invited us to. They also had 3 young ladies from Erskine College who are going to Taiwan in December! One girl went to India last year & has felt the "call" into missions since she was in High School. I hope they will come back with stories & pictures! We can't wait to go "somewhere" ourselves! We had a great time & we look forward to being more involved with the church & youth. So we'll see where they need us! There's so many things & feelings that seem like we're getting some confirmation in the direction we're heading...It's really hard to explain but I guess to say we're at Peace about the inevitable lay-off, says ALOT!
On a different note (sort of), we've had the awesome priviledge to hear some more frequent news from our friends in Paraguay! Please check out the link to the Hagermans blog on my blog list!! You can donate to their mission & they could always use your prayers!!!
Oh, as I change my blog background, my dear, sweet husband has to find the time to "fix" what I mess up like the "hide/more" button at the end of the post. So bear with us! =)

Reality

(This info is from our local paper) "Friday’s lay-off brings the total to 521 jobs lost at Solutia just before the holiday season is set to kick in.
The latest lay-off entails 101 direct Solutia employees and 23 employees who work through contractor Mundy Maintenance and Services." Eddie is employed by Mundy. He's on his way to work now, but we're waiting for the axe to fall. We're not afraid because we have God on our side, a wonderful family & each other.
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Thankfully, Matthew isn't a very "needy" child when it comes down to Christmas. He's getting older & only has one true "want" this year, for that we're thankful. Our main wish as a family is to give to others who have 'nothing', so hopefully we can do more of that than anything. Focusing on the true meaning of Christmas will make it all 'ok'!
Please join us in prayer for all the families affected by this lay-off and especially the economy in general.

Just a thought...

Have you ever REALLY thought about where you came from, and have you seen where God was molding you to be where you are today?
Eddie & I were talking about that this evening. Eddie has such a great testimony about his past & how God saved him even after all that was in his past. He says I 'saved' him but he knows it was only by Jesus' blood that he was saved. Our life as a couple hasn't been easy in different ways but the Lord has made our hearts strong. Once we married after about 2 years of living together, we could feel an immediate Peace about our relationship. We had fixed what was wrong & became a marriage of 3 instead of 2. Our hearts, dreams, and goals have changed periodically over these last (almost) 7 years.
Have you ever thought about places you've been/lived, encounters you've had, people you've met, things you've done for others or yourself, even if it wasn't pleasant? Do you think any of it helped you get to where you are in life or atleast prepared you for things to come? We both can see times in our lives where God was guiding us thru even when we weren't where we should be with our Christian walk. So even then, He was with us, helping us get to where He had our full attention. It's amazing to us how God could love "even" us in all the things of our past & still "want" to use US to glorify Him.
As a nurse, I've had patients thank me for being NICE to them!! Isn't that absurd?? Aren't nurses & any other medical staff, imparticularly, SUPPOSE to be "nice"?? Can you imagine being at someone else's mercy when you have no control of a situation or are completely dependent on someone else for your everyday needs? What if the type of care you receive is depending what kind of mood someone was in?? Do we 'live', work & play where others can see Jesus in us? When we do, we're helping others! I know we don't all have perfect days but we can all try...

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At this point in our lives, we feel like "something's coming". After all the molding God has been doing to our hearts & lives, we know He's still working on us. We've heard the call to be foster parents...maybe the 2 placements we had were all we're meant to do as foster parents...maybe the kids we had were to help US know how to deal with certain people or situations in our future...Now, that calling has been put on the back burner, really much to our amazement since it's only been a few months.
We found a church home that we all love. We'd talked about wanting to go on a "Missions Trip" & just toyed with the idea of being ready to jump on the next trip planned. Everytime we stepped foot in the door, we were spoken to in one way or another, especially about missions...THEN my dear friend, who is now in Paraguay, had posted on her Myspace about having a blog about their missions future. I just "happened" to go check my Myspace page...I think we know "who" guided me to do that...As I read her blog, I had a feeling I'd never felt before. I can't really explain it but I told Eddie about it. He asked if I was worried about them going or if maybe I was jealous. I told him I didn't feel worried but didn't know if it was so much jealousy. I'd never really entertained the idea of leaving the country to go be a missionary. I just know the feeling I felt was so overwhelmingly 'heavy'. We "teased" about going to South America because it seemed so far fetched for 'us'. We still don't know what the Lord has planned for us but we're now seriously willing.
One of the next changes in our life has been the realization that my dear grandma might "need" us. This made us realize that we aren't deeply rooted where we are right now. We started thinking maybe we needed to start downsizing & preparing. Maybe this realization was God wanting us to be ready, not necessarily 'for' grandma but helping us prepare to do His work...
So here again, "our plans" have changed from dreaming of a little "farm" to call our own to not knowing where we'll be. We feel the experiences we've been thru in our past are going to help us in what's to come. Whether it is interacting with people of another race/culture or helping others learn to raise farm animals as their way of survival...Maybe we're supposed to take our talents to another country & help win others over for God. That's huge!!!
I know this is a long one but I have one more thing. As we're down-sizing & simplifying, we're facing a very possible job lay-off for Eddie, needing to save money, get bills paid off & considering moving out of our home, even if it means living in our camper for a few months. We don't know if this is the next step in leaving for missions or just a restart in saving money to buy a mobile home to call our own, eventually getting some land to build a farm...So our future can go either way. Would you please pray for us as we face the unknown? ONLY God knows what is next & we're 'game' for the ride ahead of us!

Our near future

There's been rumors that our main source of income is in trouble, thanks to the sinking economy. It has become official now that part of Solutia has closed, leaving 300 people out of work. I've seen it on the news happening in other places, not completely surprised it's happening "to us" but hoped it wouldn't. We're expecting the second half to close anytime now, which would officially put Eddie out of work. We'll probably know something by the end of this week. It's kind of scarey but in a way we see it as a possible "next step" towards our future. We still are hearing the call into missions, we don't know where or when but it's still in our thoughts & prayers. This "permanent layoff" may be our solution to pursue another path towards that call, only God knows.
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In the meantime, I felt the nudging to encourage Eddie to call his dad (who he has little contact with) to see if we could get the camper back that we'd given him (when we moved back from Asheville). He was only using it for storage so I don't think we're being indian givers...I hope nobody's offended by that term...I'm not sure where that saying even originated & will make a point to look it up since it's something I've always heard as a child...anyway...He surprised us by saying he would clean it out & let us know when we could come get it!!!! We don't know if we'll have to "live in it" again but it will be an option atleast. We hope to be able to stay where we are for now but we plan to fix what needs to be fixed on the camper to make it livable, just in case.
In the meantime, I'm working on getting rid of stuff...my dear sister got our diningroom table (that we didn't eat at anyway) & a coffee table. So as I'm working on catching up laundry from the weekend of septic tank issues, I'm working on gathering stuff to get rid of.
Please pray for us!!

Our Saturday

After dealing with some stopped up toilet issues that started out as minor problems, our gracious landlord called these guys to come out & help us. We live in the country so we have the lovely septic tank. We've only been here about 2 years now, so it couldn't have been "all our's" (LOL) but the tank needed emptying. My beloved husband did all he could before having to call the landlord. He even uncovered alot of the tank to see if he could tell what the problem was. The 'guys' were greatful for that!
Well, the men got together & discussed a way to get this big truck thru our yard to get closer to the tank, which is in the back of the house. (It'd been raining off & on for a couple days, Thank the Lord for the rain!) As the driver was backing into the yard to go around the house, you can see what happened...if the pic comes thru. Bless his heart! I missed seeing it sink but Eddie was out there & he said it just sank, plain & simple.
After seeing the big truck wasn't budging, the big red beast came out in hopes of helping. We were praying it would save the day & almost made it. Eddie took the main guy back to their shop to get yet another truck to try pulling out #1. This pic is blurry thanks to my camera that needs replacing so hopefully you'll get the idea...



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THAT truck couldn't get it either...so we didn't feel so bad that the beast couldn't either. The guys ended up saying they would come back Sunday to get it & used the 2nd truck to empty our tank. They got about halfway done & the 2nd trucks suction quit working right...Atleast at that point we were given permission to flush toilets!! YAY!!
They came back Sunday morning around 11 A.M., jacked & blocked up the 1st truck in an attempt to gain some traction out of the hole...FINALLY it was freed! Ended up they used their big, Dodge dually to get 'er out! We all drooled over that big, pretty truck. With the truck finally freed, they finished working on our tank (from the parking pad/driveway)!
We are thankful for our landlord who called these guys to come out! May God Bless them all!!

Our camping experience

I had forgotten how tired one can be after camping! I think our "age" is showing now! We had beautiful weather, a cool evening, LOVED the campfire & family time! We went to bed at a decent hour but didn't sleep very well. We had one air mattress that Matthew slept on (that leaked out some air during the night, poor guy). Eddie & I slept on ...twin mattresses from Matthew's bed!!! I forgot my camera or we'd have had pictures of our suburban packed tight! We are not "light packers" even for one night of camping.
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We had a nice supper of hamburgers, chips & baked beans, followed by weinies over the fire & S'MORES! The highlight of our trip plans! It was cooling off nicely so I didn't mind cooking with my cast iron skillet on the gas grill from the Hagermans! (THANKS again, y'all!) Matthew & I had gotten enough wood from my parents' wood pile for one good load. I didn't realize how fast an open fire would burn. It was 6:30p (too early to go to bed) & we really wanted a fire for alittle longer...so we made the trip back into town for more firewood!! (THANKS again, Mom & dad!!!) While we were at her house, we tried to console our German Shepherd who was spending the night with Mema...We now know she has seperation anxiety...She was so happy to see us & caused more grief before our trip was over. Bless her heart. Well in our trek for more firewood, we swapped vehicles at our house, accidently leaving our "goodies" in the suburban (at home). We had put the food stuff away to avoid returning to any wild life who might've been hungry...Well, when we returned with more firewood...we were missing our S'mores ingredients, weinies AND our flashlights!!!! How disappointed we were! I had given Matthew the food bag & the flashlights as we were leaving so "we" accidently left them in the Suburban when we got the van!!! Oh Noooo! Naturally, we HAD to give Matthew a hard time about not transferring our goodies from the suburban...I kept mentioning how 'I sure would like to have a marshmellow'!!!!!!! LOL Poor guy would swat at me or give me 'the look' when I was teasing him. Luckily we had already had one round of them before our fire got too low the first time, so I guess it kept us from being gluttons the rest of the night.
We settled in & even had a family reading time. Eddie & I are both reading the Left Behind series (Eddie's second go-round) and Matthew had a book to read. We had brought a lamp from our bedroom (told ya we were wimpy campers) so we had a light to read by...especially good since we forgot to re-bring the flashlights! LOL It was great family time. I think I heard every leaf fall from the tree above & land on the tent. I was enjoying the quiet of the State Park but just couldn't stay asleep. At first, there were 2 owls hooting at each other. Matthew said that was his favorite sound. But they evidently left...waaah! I didn't realize what a noisey sleeper Matthew was. Between groaning, talking & snoring in his sleep, (& I was right next to him)...I feel like somebody has beat me!
We were going to get up, fry eggs & potatoes & take our time packing up but got the call that our beloved dog was up to no good (again) at my parents house! Ugh! So we had to go round her up & take her home. Eddie & I went back to pack up...
What did we learn??? We now feel more re-oriented to putting up a tent, banking a fire when you have to leave it but want coals to come back to...we need an airmattress for Eddie & me (with a blowup 'headboard' to keep our pillows on the bed!...=)...don't forget the food stuff & flashlights when leaving camp & coming back...don't eat Lentils & rice the night before & then have baked beans the night of camping in a tent with 3 people...LOL!!! Also, we'll have to bring the dogs or have a 'sitter' at our house for the dogs...Ginger just doesn't do well when away from home...
We are so Thankful for a nice get-away, even for just a night...Thankful for our family & extended family...
We ask any readers for prayer for the Hagerman family who are on their way to Paraguay as we speak! They were leaving this morning to be Missionaries. We're slightly envious, taming the green monster...We hope the Lord will prepare us & take us some where we can be of good use for Him & a Blessing to others!
Maybe our camping experiences will prepare us to make due with what we have so we're better acclimated to not sleeping in our nice bed, etc. Use us, Lord!!!
All of this typed after a 2-hour nap...hehe...

Our first mini vacation of the year!

Thanks to Ken & Christie for the tent & all the goodies they included!! Thanking the Lord in advance for some decent weather tomorrow (we pray)!! We're all excited to have the opportunity to go camping! I've pattied up the burgers to grill, bought the supplies to make S'MORES & have the list made of things to pack & do before we leave home for the evening. So...how wimpy are we to plan on taking an air mattress?????? LOL!
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Well on another note, May God Bless America! We're gonna NEED it!! It's scarey to not know what's coming. I'm not usually politically involved like I probably should be. All we can do is PRAY for our country & President!!

Little angel

I don't know if I've ever put my hands on a child as pitiful as the one I took care of last night. This poor baby probably doesn't know she's even in the world. If she does realize there is life around her, I don't know if she can comprehend it at all or if it's just an irritation, not understanding when she's touched or moved, etc. I probably shouldn't say much since she is in foster care. I know I can say that she, her mom (who is very young & having mental/depression problems), her near-future foster family & her biological extended family need all the prayer they can get. What a sad, sad situation.
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If nothing else, I believe God heard my prayer over her while I was there.
Anyway, I'm beat. I guess my night shift Tuesday night, working with the baby last night & then helping my dear, little sister out by babysitting/cleaning today has caught up with me. I laid down after Eddie left for work tonight & slept about 3 hrs!! Maybe I can catch up on some rest this weekend.

This week

I spent the better part of Sunday evening organizing lesson plans & catching up on laundry while my guys were away. Now we're just waiting on his History/Geography books to come so we can get that started too.
In the meantime this week, I had been dreading my night shift at work (last night) for various reasons. Prayer & lots of it got me thru...
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'Great is Thy Faithfulness' was the song the Lord gave me yesterday morning. I was wondering if that was because there was a possibility I would be downstaffed (ie, no work=less paycheck) but it turned out not to be the case. Eddie & I prayed (for Peace & not so much anxiety). I didn't know what I was going to face when I went to work & it'd been several years that I'd worked night shift. I had another song on my heart later in the day that I wished I'd made note of b/c I can't remember what it was now. Seems like God gives me a song to hum or sing to help give me the Peace I ask for. I take it as being literally from the Lord, like He's "talking" to me.
Does He "talk" to you that way??
I did go to work after praying for my patients, the other staff I would be working with, etc. It went well & I didn't even get overly sleepy, because I had enough work to do to keep me steady. My patients rested pretty good, even the ones who had been having to take pain medicine around the clock before went longer intervals without having it. That was God's intervention!
Today I got a call from DSS asking if I would be interested in "sitting" with a foster child in the hospital. The extended family who is "involved" needs back-up at times & the child has major health issues. So I get to meet & help take care of this little one tomorrow from 3p-11p. They're hoping the baby will be placed with a foster family by next week. We feel pretty certain we're not the ones for this little one. It would take God smacking us hard to make us think different. As of right now, I don't know 'why' this has been brought before us & we probably shouldn't try to figure it out. It can be just so we come in contact with someone who needs 'us' or even someone we need to know for more info about something in our future. We don't know...we're just going to 'go with it'. So please pray for this little one (5 mth old little girl & her family, future foster family). Also pray for me (& our family) to be 'used' by the Lord, so we can be a blessing to whoever we come in contact with. We want folks to see Jesus thru us!

Our week

First off, I have to thank the Lord for helping me get thru the weekend at work (last weekend)...I don't know that I'll find my niche in life in the working world but can think of a 'job' working on God's Time Clock that would be the most rewarding experience ever!
Anyway, I ordered Matthew's HS books Tuesday. The lady (I think her name was MaryJo) at usedhomeschoolbooks.com was a tremendous help!!! The mail had already run for them so she put them in the mail Weds & we got them Friday! Yay!! Of course I was more excited than Matthew! LOL! They didn't have the History books that I wanted but I went to Ebay & there they were! In all, we spent less than $80 for his whole curriculum! Praise the Lord!
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The hassle part of the week was partly my fault. We let Matthew stay home (even though we didn't have the registration completed with the HS association). We did get the call Monday afternoon. I called the school Tuesday to tell them we were withdrawing him & would be turning in his books Weds afternoon. The lady I talked to (I think I've blogged this already) couldn't have cared less...then she didn't pass on the message to the right person, so we got a call the next day saying Matthew was going to be TRUENT if we didn't get things taken care of. I told them that I'd already spoken with someone & was planning to come to the school that afternoon. She proceeded to tell me I had to get there before 3p.m. since that's when the lady who handled attendance was leaving for the day. Long story short, I had to still take in an "excuse" for the days he'd missed. The worst part was how the front office (one lady imparticular) treated us when we went to turn in his books & tuba. It was like we were making her SO much more work to do. She talked to us in a degrading way, like we were clueless & bothering her.
With this beloved school, we've had issues of books & supplies missing. I know things get misplaced by my DS but I honestly think he's not completely at fault. Anyway, his Science & Social Studies book (which I've never seen come into our house) had been kept at school...are missing...Thankfully the teacher is going to check everybody's books in case someone has his "by mistake"...We spoke to the Asst Principal who said he couldn't "completely withdraw" Matthew until both books (all--he had his Math & Language Arts books) were accounted for...Soooo, we are prayerfully (is that a word) hoping that we get the $123 back.......It was sickening, but I didn't feel like I had any choice but to write the check. By the way they talked, I was afraid if we didn't handle it, we'd have a bigger hassle on our hands. We may have been taken advantage of but it's a good possibility the money will be refunded soon or atleast at the end of the year...The Lord knows our needs so He'll make sure we're ok.
Now we can get started on our new adventure of homeschooling!
Well, football season for us is done & I think we're all relieved. Today was the first (& last Playoff game) for our team. We lost by one point but the boys played their hearts out!
We went to see our dear friends (the Hagermans) & had a great time at their going away party. I know they will be missed by all!! We can't wait to see the work they're going to be doing & hope to atleast get to go help/visit them in the future!
Tomorrow we have church & I get to start making lesson plans for the week! I'm looking forward to it actually!!! Please pray for us as we get started! Also continue to remember the Hagermans as they're leaving Nov. 6th for Paraguay & remember my dear friend (with her marital issues). Thanks!

WOW!

"WOW!" was all I could come up with as a title to this post. Lame, I know...
Anyway, We got the call yesterday that we were officially processed with the association to homeschool! What a relief!! I was alittle antsy that things wouldn't go right & it would be delayed but the good Lord moved & it was DONE! I called the school today to tell them we would be bringing school books, etc tomorrow & the lady who answered the phone sounded like she couldn't have cared less! So atleast I didn't have to stay on the phone trying to convince them that this was something we needed to do.
Today I called to order homeschooling books! I'm so ready to get all this started & have our son "home" where with God's help, we can mold him into a well-rounded young man! So in the next few days our time will be filled with lesson plans & getting a sort of routine planned out that can be flexible. So we're on our way!
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Tonight I have a "mama night" while my guys have a "boys night out". So I'm enjoying the REMOTE, my computer, a frozen pizza & QUIET! LOL! (Don't tell them, but I'm enjoying myself but will also be glad when they're back home!) Oh & I can't leave out the fact that my DH made a special trip to the gas station to get me "supplies" to make S'MORES while they're gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I was feeling the 'need' for chocolate) I may be sick by the time they get back! If only I had a small bonfire...guess the microwave will have to do!

Praise Report

I got a couple of wonderful phone calls yesterday!
First Praise is my "sister" who has been having some marital difficulties called with the news that her husband is having a change of heart (Thank you, Lord!!) & is willing to work on their marriage!!!! Little does he know, he's had LOTS of prayers going out for him (& her)! When God is "for you" who can be against you???????? Nobody!!! We're STILL praying for the rebuilding of their marriage & family!
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Our second Praise is we got the call from the homeschooling association saying it's NOT too late to get Matthew started!!!!!! We are SO excited! We are heading in the right direction!! So I got the application filled out & the money sent this morning! Praise the Lord! Now to decide which curriculum to use.
Now we'll see "what's next"!

Alittle update/Praise

It's so amazing to see God's special plan for our lives open up for us! We didn't understand "why" after only a short time of being foster parents that things were happening to change our focus & our dreams. We think we have an idea now of some of the "why" when it comes to our precious little foster son we had. We knew his new family would be in the ministry but to find out they are involved in a Christian School was a sweet finding. Also, the foster mom is a MK (Missionary Kid)! Her parents are missionaries in Japan & have been there 32 years! Eddie says little man maybe the next Billy Graham! In looking for the "positive" (of us missing him & missing out on watching him grow up) we honestly believe God put him with us until his new family could get their fostering license done. They are also working on their adoption license and hopefully will be his forever family if the courts see it's in his best interest to do a TPR (termination of parental rights). Please include the new foster family and even his biological mother in your prayers.

More... Well all of our "farm" animals have been relocated for which we are Thankful. All we have left are our 2 dogs. So now we can focus on uncluttering, trying to save some money & just preparing for what's to come.
Please continue praying for us as we go down this road in life!

Progress in God's Time

First, I have to say I am so proud of my dear husband for truely "hearing" and listening to his personal call into missions. We have known for alittle while that we wanted to atleast do a short term trip & never really considered doing it full-time until this last month or so. We feel it's a true calling & not that we're "reading into" what we "think" is meant for us to do. We've had so many More...confirmations lately that it's almost scarey...but in an amazingly good way! We were talking last night about where we've been, our past experiences & mistakes and now where we are...more importantly where we're "going". I think we both have a great testimony but to know where Eddie's past has taken him, it is truely humbling to know his past is forgiven AND the Lord is calling on HIM to do His work. He is so amazed & I hope his testimony will lead others to Christ!
We're continuing to pray for guidance. It just feels so "right"!
Today, I took our precious foster son to his new home. I've managed to stay pretty busy getting things ready, so it might hit me alittle later. So far I'm doing pretty good. His new foster family is so genuinely sweet! I hope they get to keep him forever, because I think they will make a great foundation builder for his little life. I've probably forgotten to tell them some things, but it's hard to think of all the little quirks, likes & dislikes of a baby without forgetting some of the details. Anyway, the work isn't done yet, getting rid of all the "stuff" but I'll get to it all eventually. I'm ready to get down to the bare necessities, clean the carpets that are in desperate need of a good cleaning & just make a dent in the de-junking process. The good thing is his new foster family is willing to let us "stay in touch" like helping keep him if they need a sitter & sending us pictures. We would love to watch him grow up even if it's from a distance. I probably won't see him (intentionally) for alittle bit because I don't want to confuse or upset him. Hopefully after some time passes, we can see him again. In the meantime, we're going to be stripping our home of "stuff" & trying to move forward.
I'm kind of ready for alittle mini vacation myself. We've never really had a "family" vacation but if we can just take off & go to the mountains for alittle R&R I'll be happy! I "need" a campfire, s'mores, snugglin' with my honey & the beautiful mountain scenery. Hopefully that will be possible sometime soon! I just wish we had a camper...I wouldn't even mind a tent (with an air mattress), but I don't think Eddie's gonna go for that. Plus it's getting cooler, so we might freeze our buns off @ night this time of year in the mountains.
I have a prayer request for a dear friend...God knows her name. She's having some pretty major difficulty in her marriage. Please lift her, her husband (& kids) up in your prayers! Also, I have an online friend who is having complications in the adoption of their 3 foster kids. Please pray for that situation too!
Thanks in advance! I hope whoever reads this has a Blessed weekend! I'll be at work so you can pray for me too! =)

Amazing Grace

Today I had a very rough day and fell back into some of my old ways(sinfull). Had alot to do with work and allowing my self to fall victim to satan's attacks.Tomorrow we give our foster son to another set of foster parents.We need to do this to be able to get our selves ready for leaving on our missions.To say that....More... I was taking it hard would be an understatement.I was about to call Sara and talk to her about keeping him and not going on missions I took a few seconds to say a prayer. I asked God to help me thats all I prayed for.I then decided to check my mail and blogs from work and the first thing I see is a news letter from a friends blog, in bold letters before I could read the rest I see: “go into all the world",it was all I needed to see.A feeling of peace came over me and I got chills, in less than a minute God answered my prayer and calmed my soul.To some of you this may seem normal and expected but 6 years ago I was on the express elevator to HELL. But I met Sara she helped me build the mustard seed of Faith I needed. That seed has grown into something completely amazing.


of EDDIE'S post

Sign of the times

You always hear people say "Revelations is the most difficult book of the bible to understand."But really it is not that hard to read if you put a little effort into it. To understand end times prophecy you have to read more from your bible and study more than just whats in Revelations. More...
Everyone knows that Jesus was a real person an actual historical figure there are historical documents that record parts of His life that we have proof of, but where predicted, in the bible, over 400 years before He was born. With all the evidence we have that bible prophesy has been fulfilled in the past why would people think it wont continue to prove itself true.
In other words, the Bible predicted the first coming of Christ with extreme accuracy, so you can rest assured that the second coming is also going to happen.
As I watch the news and read about all the killing going on in the world today I see more and more of the beginning of the end:

"Wars and rumors of wars"(Matthew:24,6)
Iraq
Iran
Pakistan
Afghanistan
Somali
Korea
Russia
Israel
and many others I can't recall right now.



"many shall run to and fro"(Daniel:12,4):

This refers to travel,
15 years ago I ate breakfast in Chicago,Illinois lunch in Anchorage,Alaska and supper in Tokyo, Japan.
We travel even more and we travel more quickly now than ever before.


"and knowledge shall be increased."(Daniel:12,4):

100 years ago only the rich and elite knew how to read today very few people are illiterate.


"And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people"(Zechariah 12:2)

Can you remember the last day that Israel wasn't in the news?

"Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first"(2 Thessalonians 2:3):

There is no question people are falling away from the teachings of Christ.



There are lot more things I think are pointing toward the end time I will probably talk more about it later. My views of the end time prophecy is part of the reason I feel so strongly about getting out there and doing mission work we as evangelical Christians have a responsibility to get the message of salvation out there of EDDIE'S post

God is at Work...

We can feel Him working in our lives everyday & it's a wonderful feeling!
I FINALLY had a productive, busy but not overwhelming day at work Thursday. I thanked the Lord over & over. I could feel that I was covered with a Peace all day & knew mine & Eddie's prayers had been heard. The staff worked well together, the patients weren't overly demanding so it was a truely Blessed day! Thank you again, Lord! More...
Another pretty "big" thing is something called nicotine addiction. I have been praying about this burden on my heart. I've been praying for both Eddie and me. The Lord is REALLY working in our lives. It's the most beautifully strange thing I've ever witnessed. I ran across an article about quitting smoking. I sent it to Eddie's email, but I did this this morning...expecting him to read it tonight. Well he read it early & told me that last night while he was on a "smoke break", he was thinking about things...he wondered if it was about time to quit smoking! I know a person has to be ready or it won't work...nagging doesn't work, but prayer does! He's been smoking almost 30 years & has managed to cut back a good bit & maybe even not smoke for a couple days or more since we've been together but to be completely "free" from it, he's never known that feeling as an adult! I know with prayer, patience & our love for each other, we can get thru this. It's not an easy thing to do but when we have a great big God on our side, how can we go wrong! So please, if you read this, please, please, please say a prayer for us! We're asking God to take away the cravings, irritability, the desire & help us keep it that way!
Homeschooling is on our mind pretty heavy. After the delima of which school Matthew would go to, finding out the school we were forced to send him to is below average, seeing what kind of "mess" they're making the kids read, exposing him to who know's what kind of kids at school...then I read on another homeschooling bloggers blog...If you send your kids to Caesar's school, don't be surprised when they come home acting like the Romans...Makes sense! I've wanted to homeschool him since we did it for awhile when we moved to Asheville (for alittle while) but didn't think it was possible. But with my schedule working around Eddie's anyway because of the earlier shift of mine, there's really no reason we can't. To have that flexibility, less stress, less money spent to send him to "free" public school just makes good sense! School just started so I guess we'll start researching & see what we need to do to make it happen. I know the school district will frown on it if we take him out in the middle of the year but oh well. I asked Matthew if he would miss Band or anything if we were able to get started homeschooling again & he said 'no, not really.' Then he said he would miss playing football in 7th grade. I told him he would still be able to play ball for Parks & Rec (if we're even still in the country) next year so he would not miss out on that necessarily. Soooo more to pray on & make sure this is something the Lord is leading us to do.
Hopefully this week I can get some more clearing out done. I'm ready to be down to the bear necessities & not have so much "junk".
My prayer for today:
Thank you Lord for my husband, son & family! Thank you for working in our lives & hearts!

Progress

Well today our chickens & 2 rabbits went to their new home. One step closer to downsizing & simplifying! It was fun to watch the guys catch the chickens & load them up so not to break eggs inside of them. I will miss having the fresh eggs that are so much better than store bought but we'll just have to deal with it until we find out where the good Lord wants us, I guess. It will save us money not having to buy feed which will be a good thing. Now we have 6 rabbits to re-home. We do hope we can eventually use what knowledge we've acquired over the years of raising farm animals. We'd love to help build a "farm" for those who don't know how to get started. To let someone experience fresh eggs, rabbit meat & maybe even goat milk & soaps would be a treat for us to be involved with! I've always wanted to make soaps so maybe that's something that will be included in our future.
Eddie & I both are to a place in our careers where we're so ready to go work for the Lord. He's got such a wonderful gift of fixing & building stuff. He's very creative & has the ability where he says if somethings broken it's like he can "hear" what needs fixed. I'm frustrated with my new job because I don't feel like I can make a difference for having to run around & push pills. Yesterday was really busy & I was able to stay caught up while running up & down the halls until I got 2 admissions on top of the seven patients I had already. One of my patients had a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) from a recent motorcycle wreck & he was having a rough day...he was agitated & combative...his sitter (one of the staff assigned to him) threatened to leave work because he was so tough to handle. So I was having to intervene there & try to get her some relief. The staff aren't happy & are overwhelmed by the patient load. An employee there even told me that I was "crazy" for going to work there. It's just our small town is so controlled by the hospital here, there's just not many options for jobs, & I've been there & done that there. Right now, it's just not very realistic to seek jobs outside of our town, especially with gas prices being the way they are. We're trying to hang in there to get to where we need to be in life. It's just hard when you know there's something else out there that we're being called to do & instead have to deal with unhappiness & being worked like a dog just to make it. We'd much rather put our energies into helping bring others to Christ. We're still praying & believing.
Well we have lots to do still so one day at a time, with the help of sweet Jesus!
I guess in the next week or so, our sweet foster son will be moved. We "know" it's what needs to happen & I don't really have doubts about it, most of the time. My sweet sister pretty much begs us not to have him moved. She says she would help keep him more for us to have a break, but that's not the issue. I'm just ready to get it over with before it gets to the point where it will be harder on him and us. It's not going to be easy at any rate but we truely feel like we'll be able to get to the right place in our lives.
I guess that's all for now.
Happy Sunday!

Not givin' up...

We're still in the process of downsizing & simplifying even though we got our first bit of "bad news" recently. We got an email from the C&MA who aren't able to send out long term missionaries like they would like to due to the "global economic downturn". Then we found out full-time missionaries (atleast the men) have their Master's Degree. Soooo, we're still hoping to line up a short term trip but are still seeking guidance for what else is to come. We still feel strongly led to go help those who haven't heard God's word. We feel like with the signs of the times that it might not be long before the Lord calls His people home. Of course we don't know but we do know we're willing & trying to get ready as soon as we can.
Our foster son should be placed with his new family by the end of this month so we hope to get more done once he's moved. We sold our extra fridge today which is just another step in the right direction. My brother-in-law & his sweet daddy are coming Sunday to get the chickens & hopefully a rabbit or 2. Once we get the rabbits sent to new homes, it will make our life alittle more manageable too. Each step is making progress towards being able to take care of grandma if that time comes & preparing for our future whatever that might hold.
Eddie & I have started a new couple's devotional called Night Light written by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson. We're really enjoying it!
We hope one day to have our main careers punching God's time clock & not somebody else's...=)
In the meantime, we're praying & listening in hopes of hearing where & what we're supposed to be doing.

Another step in the right direction...

Well, our lil guy will be moved to a new foster home by the end of the month. We really feel like this is what we need to do. He's a doll & we know he will do well wherever he is.
We also got good news that Paraguay IS an option for our mission trip!! Hopefully everything will go smoothly! We are looking forward to having a date to work towards. I have been in touch with Brenda in Paraguay who is a C&MA missionary with her husband! We're so thankful to have them as our mentors too!
In the meantime, we're working, working on getting rid of stuff & saving money! Whew!
Please continue to pray for us!

It's been awhile...

We had the greatest time going to watch the UFC with Ken & Christie's youth group!!! Amy kept the baby for us which was a wonderful break! It was nice to not have to worry about his needs & let us relax some.
I can imagine how tired the Hagerman family is! They had a busy Saturday still preparing to leave in November & then setting up for fight night, then church Sunday. It was so great to fellowship with them!
Well after much prayer for this past week, I'm glad the good Lord saw me thru it. I had to do 12hrs Tues, classroom orientation Weds & Thurs, then 12 hrs Friday. It was a long week but I survived. I really don't like starting new jobs. Learning the routine...learning the paper or computer work...learning the people...I don't know that I'm cut out for day shift but I'll hang in there. I would like to try night shift there. I've done nights before so we'll see.
The house has been a mess with us being so busy this weekend & it bugs me! But this weekend I have been able to try to catch up on laundry & Eddie took down the extra crib & bed in Matthew's room. Even if it's little pieces at a time, we're going to see some progress towards downsizing & simplifying! So now the bed is in the suburban to be taken to my mom's for their spare bedroom. The crib has gone to Amy to give to a young, pregnant girl she knows.
We haven't heard from anybody about transferring the baby to another foster home yet. We will miss him. I would like to think we could keep in touch & see him some but I don't want to subject anymore confusion on him than he has to have. So we'll see what happens. Maybe Amy & Dale will consider becoming foster parents so they can kind of take our place if we're called away.
Speaking of being called away, I've touched base with the Christian & Missionary Alliance about short term missions so we hope to hear something soon! Atleast to have a time line of what's next will give us something to work towards! I even mentioned Ken & Christie heading to Paraguay. That I know of C&MA go to Peru but not Paraguay...maybe we can be the "first"! We sure would love to work with the Hagerman family in making a difference in the lives of the Paraguayans!
I found a website www.studyspanish.com that might work for us! So far I've made flashcards which I think will help. I'm a let-me-see-it kind of learner so maybe Matthew will be able to pick up on it with us as we practice with the cards!
Well I have to go to work for a class...ugh...then lots of other stuff before Matthew's football game tonight in Ware Shoals. It's another manic Monday!

Ramblings

In my search to persue missions, I have stumbled across some great information & some concern. I think the only true concern so far is the fact that I am divorced. Fortunately, Eddie's divorces are "covered" Biblically and mine was just "forgiven" since I did ask for "forgiveness"...But is that something that will be held against me when it comes to doing God's work? It bothers me that my divorce might be held over my head when I ended my marriage for the safety of my son & myself...then I had the spiritual sense to still ask forgiveness. Anyway, I feel like my experiences in life may "help" someone else to see that even their situation isn't the end of the road & they too can be forgiven. Hopefully whatever Mission Board we may be lead to go thru, will be understanding & see the good Eddie & I have to offer.
We had a wonderful phone conversation with Christie H. Friday! We felt bad that she had to stand on her head to get a good signal though & appreciate her willingness to sacrifice blood flow to help us get questions answered! We are really looking forward to joining them next Saturday!
We hope & pray to be able to start getting things thinned out, organized & begin to prepare ourselves for what is to come!

Faith

I wanted to "save" this forwarded email. I don't know how accurate it is but it has a great message. I don't know who started it to give them credit.
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm, The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! Finally, after a horrific night. the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
***Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'***

"Have Thine Own Way, Lord"

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Thou art the potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after thy will, while I am waiting, yielded and still.
Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master today!
Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now, as in thy presence humbly I bow.
Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Wounded and weary, help me I pray!
Power, all power, surely is thine! Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!
Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way! Hold o'er my being absolute sway.
Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see Christ only, always, living in me!

We received the strongest confirmation this morning. For the last couple weeks, everytime we've stepped foot in the doors of our church, the message has seemed to be pointed directly at us! Alot of the questions & concerns we have had were touched on by our preacher.
We have had so many changes in where we thought our life was going like having a farm & lots of kids to the direction we're heading in now. We believe the Lord has been preparing out hearts & lives because we were all set to be foster parents & build up a little farm. We have felt at peace and no longer feel as strong about fostering right now even though we plan to keep our license that we worked so hard to get. We've even decided to sell our chickens & rabbits. After our dear "Woody" died last month, we knew we wouldn't replace him even though Matthew has been asking for another dog for a long time. Then we lost 2 chickens & 2 rabbits mainly due to the heat we had at the time. We've put in alot of work getting things in order for the animals but it almost seems "mute" now, if that's the right way to say it. It's not that we don't care about them, it's just not our main focus anymore. So we're ready to thin out our obligations to make time & save money for other things to come.
The message this morning was about the Lord passing by & blessing us. He said once the Lord makes His presence known, nothing stays the same. Lives change, people change. As He leads, He will not leave us. He wants us to know he's with us always. He will provide for us! He wants to know that we love Him more than anything else in this world & if we do, He wants us to serve Him no matter what it takes!
Eddie & I went forward for prayer with the preacher. I was filled to over-flowing by joy, excitement, nervousness & giving myself in obedience to the Lord. I'd been thinking about the hymn "Trust & Obey"...I felt like I was doing that but wondered what else I could be doing to make sure I was "hearing" the Lord & not just my own thoughts & desires. We feel like we're getting closer to knowing "what" we're supposed to be doing in our lives. So we're "trusting & obeying". Now I can honestly say I feel like we're obeying. Before, we'd prayed about our family & farm...thinking we were where God wanted us, but all that has changed.
Now we're preparing to go live with my grandma in hopes of taking care of her until the Good Lord calls her Home. I'm sure in the next days or months the Lord will be preparing us for what comes after that.
In the meantime, we will be working towards clearing out & preparing for our foster son to go to his new family. It's going to be a busy & emotional next few weeks but we atleast have the Peace in our hearts that it's what we're supposed to do!
We have a wonderful friend (& her family) who will be like mentors to us. Please pray for the Hagerman Family as they persue God's calling in the life!

Our first changes...

Well, it looks like we are headed for one of the first possible changes in our future. My dear grandma is showing obvious signs of needing someone with her more often. She has lived alone for 20 years, I think, and has done great! If I can live til I'm 96 years old & just then start getting more confused & feeble, I'll be doing good. I promised her over 10 years ago that she would never go to a nursing home & we as a family will do everything in our power to see to that.
We are preparing to dispose of alot of our belongings. This will also be a big help if/when we can make a mission trip. I made a list of things that need to "go", a list of things to take with us, a list of stuff that can be "stored" for later, etc. It feels good to atleast have something to work towards to make this happen.
We have also discussed our situation with our foster son's caseworker & will give her the definite "go ahead" as far as finding a foster home who can take him. We feel like this will be for the best & hope he can have a forever home with another family or his biological mom in the long run. We will put future fostering on hold until we get settled again. It probably sounds crazy for us to take a break from fostering this soon, after all we went thru to get licensed, but we truely feel this is something we need to do.
It feels good to be making preparations for our future, instead of feeling like we're supposed to be doing "something" but not knowing what that "something" really is. We have enjoyed living where we are now & thought at one time that we would want to stay here forever. Eddie & I have felt a difference in our dreams of having a farm & houseful of kids but couldn't really put our finger on anything imparticular. We feel like the Lord has been preparing our hearts for a change.
Please pray for my dear grandma. We'll all need prayer in this adjustment.

Our day...

So far Matthew's hanging in there with his new school. He is excited to be learning to play the TUBA in band class! I'm proud that he's trying!
We had our monthly caseworker visit today. She's the sweetest! She's young, full of gumption & willing to fight for what she believes in. We got to discuss with her our concerns & possible need in the near future of finding another foster home for our lil guy to be transferred to. We love him dearly but know it would probably not work having him with us if/when we start staying (possibly) with my grandmother. We've also been preparing ourselves for his return to his mom but today got news it may very well not go that way. That will all depend on how she does with getting her life in order. We'd said if he was available for adoption that we would want to adopt him. I think this bit of news is not from the Lord for some reason though. We still feel like some sort of missions is where God wants us. If we kept him until the next court date, when mom is supposed to have all her ducks in a row, it could go either way...then if there is TPR (termination of parental rights), then we could proceed with the adoption but could still take years to be completed...which means it would take that much longer to get to where we feel the Lord is leading us. In my heart, I don't "see" us with him permanently & that is hard to say since I would normally want to adopt as many children as we could & have a houseful. Could I be just trying to protect my own "mama heart" or is it just the evil one putting question & doubt in our minds to throw us off from what we feel led to do?? Honestly, I've tried to protect my heart & feel there is some other road we're supposed to go down in the near future.
We've got alot of praying to do. We don't want to make hasty decisions & miss out on the adventures the Lord has for us!
We're still in the planning stages of simplifying & down-sizing. It's kind of hard to know where to start. With our work schedules, it makes it hard to get much done. I'm thinking it will be nice to go thru & pretty much make a fresh start & on a new path.
I don't know if any of this post makes sense. I feel yucky thanks to sinus mess, so there's no telling what my ramblings might or might not sound like. So anyone who might read this, please join us in prayer! Thank you!

The Lord's Will

We can only hope the Lord is having his way in our life, especially today where Matthew is concerned. We finally got a call from the Dist. Office & long story short, our concerns about Matthew and school were basically shot out of the water & dismissed.
I picked Matthew up for a Dr appt & he said he would just stay at that school...He doesn't want to cause problems...We want him to have every possible chance to succeed. We haven't given up but won't be aggressive at trying to change their mind about allowing him to switch schools right now.
We know the Lord will watch over him wherever he is! We also feel like some changes are coming our way in the near future so we'll see what happens. Who knows, if we're for sure called to the mission field, we may be homeschooling him at some point anyway!
We're still in the process of downsizing & simplifying. We feel like this is for a reason, we just don't know what the reason is yet. My dear grandmother is 96 years old, still lives by herself (& her dog)...she is getting more feeble & forgetful...We are making ourselves available to take care of her if need be. She has told me she feels lonely most of the time so we'll see how the Lord directs us.

Prayer & Praise

We had family prayer before Amy's scheduled meeting with her principal. I knew she was anxious about how she would be received. She said she was alittle nervous right before it but felt good going in! =) (The Lord was with her!) She said the meeting went well & said the principal could've probably "fixed" the situation before school started had she known...we didn't know & were trying to communicate with the District Office, but couldn't get a response. Soooo, Matthew has a Dr's appt tomorrow to see our wonderful family Dr. for advice & assistance. We'd been contemplating this anyway but now might be the right time. I'm also going to be emailing his previous teacher & Guidance Counselor to see if they will make a small recommendation on our behalf. Besides, we were given the reason for denial of our request that all the classes were "full"...some of them may have been but not the ones we wanted anyway according to Amy! It was like we didn't get a true response or someone just didn't want to be agreeable at the D.O.. So we're still praying things will work out for the best. The principal at the school we want him to go to was supportive so we have a good start, I think. We will be praying for the asst. superintendent to have an open mind & see that we are only concerned about Matthew's well-being & success in school. We hope to have a meeting with him within the next 2 days. Won't you join us in prayer??
Today, we kept Matthew home...we knew how anxious he was. He was so down on himself (& sore from yesterday's practice) that he was going to miss practice tonight. I basically talked him into going & it went well. I told him it could be a way to get his frustrations out. Poor guy. He said he wasn't even as sore afterward. Thank You, Lord, for being with our young man.
So we'll see how tomorrow goes. We pray for God's will in the situation & Peace in our home.
Oh & I found out today the "placement" DSS was asking about was the little guy we had as a respite placement before. I got negative responses from Eddie & Matthew so unless the Lord says "Yes, you will", we're not planning to take him for various reasons. His caseworker says he should be going "home" (again) next month.
Ok, enough for today...

"Are you washed in the Blood?"

This hymn was on my mind this morning & it brings a such a peaceful feeling! I'm so fortunate to have been raised in a Christian home with a preacher for a daddy. Even though we didn't have all the things the world provides, we had the most stable parents, guidance & were given the greatest foundation possible! I'm so Thankful for my parents!
We have such a heavy burden on our hearts. Matthew is going thru alot with the new school, etc. Thankfully, my sister, Amy is working on helping us get permission for Matthew to go to the original school we were planning to send him to. She's a "resource" teacher there & we feel he would excel there. So we're praying! She's going to talk to her principal for direction at 4:05 today. She's asking that we pray for guidance & the words to plead his case for us. So if anybody reads this, please join us in prayer.
In the meantime, we're still praying for guidance & wisdom for the burden on our heart towards missions. It is such a strong desire & we feel like something that we are being led to do. Please pray as we're attempting to learn Spanish & working on getting our passports, etc.
I guess that's all for now.

My Poor lil guy

Today was my sweet boy's 2nd day of school ...Middle school (6th grade), new school, new friends, new teacher...now that he's playing football again he's got a new set of coaches & only one guy he knows from last year's team. I think he's alittle overwhelmed.
We wanted him to go to the original school we'd been told he would go to but turned out we were 'zoned' for this different school. We tried to change it but we can't even get a response from the Asst Superintendent, which I think is super rude! It's so hard to see him go thru this. I do wish we could homeschool again. We have Faith that we will be able to again one day, Lord willing. I know I can't protect him all his life, but I do know how kids are now days & can be down right mean. We are trying to raise him as a solid Christian boy but having to fight the worldly stuff is hard.
He came home from football practice tonight basically depressed acting & in tears. He said he didn't know what was wrong. Finally he said he didn't want to go back to that school because he didn't like it. I know he has to adjust to a new everything but it's so hard to see him go thru this.
So anyone who happens by this blog, please pray for Matthew.
Today was my second day at a new job. Oh, Lord, will you please show us where we need to be? I love being a nurse (most days) but there's definitely something missing.
I got a call from our licensing worker saying she had a placement to discuss with us. We're not sure we want another foster child right now, with all we have going on...will we be missing out on a precious blessing if we don't accept another placement? We haven't heard from her again today so she may have found another foster home...maybe we won't even have to make that decision. I heard a commercial yesterday calling foster parents "missionaries" which isn't something I ever thought of but it can't be all we're meant to do...Can it? When she mentioned a placement, I didn't get excited like before. We have all intentions of working towards missions & have wondered if we should take alittle break from fostering in case we get a for sure call to do some sort of missions. Mainly so we can get things done & sorted, and not have to make a child make another adjustment for us to follow a dream/calling.
Well I need to crash...this has been a long day.
Please pray for us.

Our morning

The alarm didn't go off this morning...ugh...first day of school for Matthew too. We made it though without too much hassle. I think I'm more nervous than Matthew is about a new school, new teacher, new friends, new routine, etc.
Eddie woke up with the song "I will not be moved" (I can't place the song right this minute but he said it's about doing God's work & not being deterred by anything or anybody.) I have "Have Thine Own Way" in my head. I love, love the "old hymns". That's about all I was raised on in church as a "PK". They bring such Peace!
I have so many things running thru my head, it would make someone dizzy to read. Alot of questions that might seem "worrisome" about potential missions but I think of some them as preparing for going...like not knowing exactly how long we would be gone at first & making arrangements for having our "stuff" in storage (making the payment)...Pulling Matthew out of public school & homeschooling while we're gone...will he be able to test back in when (if) we come back for the next year ...Eddie's child support: Do we just go on Faith that the Lord will provide that too so we don't come back to the US with a warrant for his arrest? Is that something we need to try to "help ourselves" to some extent in preparation or step out on complete Faith & hope we can make the payments? Something else I'd like to find out is will my nursing licensure accept out of the country "work" if need be to renew my license in 2 years? That's petty because I don't think there are certain hours anymore to maintain licensure but I'm just curious. Besides, I just renewed it so I've got a while to have to deal with that...
I'm not even "worried" about when we would come back to the states, not having a home set-up to come back to. We have family, Thank the Lord, who would put us up til we could get going again. I would just need to stay on good terms with my job(s) so if we came back in 6mths-1year, I could get back to work if that's what the Lord was leading us to do.
Well I could sit on here all day, probably, & try to hash out things but I need to get some stuff done & pray about these things instead of worrying over them. So does this all mean I'm not strong enough Spiritually to go do God's work or is it just my chance to grow & get stronger in Him????
Have a great day, whoever reads this!

Our future

We are in the beginning/planning stages of simplifying & down-sizing our worldly possessions. There are still alot of questions in our mind but we know with God's guidance, those answers will come to us as we need them. I guess/hope it's "normal" to wonder in the meantime...
I talked to my mom about feeling led to get involved with Missions. She's one who wants all her kids & grandkids close by as much as possible, but she also had a sister who was a missionary in Thailand when I was a baby. I'm not saying she was jumping up & down with excitement but she wasn't against it (atleast not openly). When I told her we would be downsizing & not expecting to take anymore foster placements right away, she asked how many boxes I thought we'd need to store in her attic. This coming from us who "moved" to Asheville, NC, my birth place to try to make a fresh start with our life...I got homesick & we moved back after about 9 months! LOL! BUT Eddie & I realize that preparing for missions, isn't like what we were hoping to do by moving to Asheville. Yes, it could be a "move" & lifestyle change, but it would be "different". Things in our life are different now then they were then. We would be doing the Lord's work & not just trying to make our ends meet by punching a clock...We would be on God's time clock. Wow, what a concept!
Yes, we would miss our families but we know it would be such a rewarding experience! So we're praying hard for guidance & direction.
In the meantime, we're trying to muddle thru. We do still have life to live here but it's hard to stay focused when there's so much that can be different in the near future.
We are getting out of the rabbit & chicken "business" as soon as possible. For one thing, it will be less we have to fool with when it comes to day-to-day life. It will save us money as far as their feed goes too. We've lost all but one goldfish so even that will be one less thing...we've already told Matthew when "Goldie" is gone, we will empty the tank & put it away (probably sell it). There's just so much "stuff" that takes up our time, money & energy, I'm ready to get things down to the bare necessities. Even if we weren't considering missions of some sort, I had already been wanting to unclutter our home & lives so it won't hurt my feelings at all! All of the worldly possessions that we have were either bought, given to us & can be gotten again later if we need them. There are materials of convenience, habit, etc that we will learn to deal without.
When I read Christie's email tonight to Eddie, it just stoked the fire that we feel is burning in us. Like I told her, he said to be able to have a job of doing God's work would be the most amazing experience ever in helping build a missionary training center. After all his life, knowing he had a "gift from God" with his skills and finally being able to do it for the glory of God is like a dream come true!
So we're going to try to use our time wisely...learning Spanish (or trying to!), setting aside $$ to get our passports, etc. Another question in my mind as far as getting sonny-boy's passport is that he doesn't have a "father" listed on his birth certificate...he also has my maiden name...We don't want complications if we're going out of the country & it would make things more simple, I think, if he had our last name, which is something we've been wanting to do for a couple years now...I'm planning to call an attorney to find out what a step-parent adoption is going to involve since there's not a biological father in the picture & never has been. Matthew wants this & already considers Eddie his "daddy" so it's just the legalities. So if anyone reads this & has any info, please feel free to share!
Another issue we are possibly facing is my dear grandmother who is 96 years of age. She still lives alone (well with her dog "Sweetie") & is declining alittle at a time. (IF I make it to 96 I'll be doing good!) She has been more forgetful, Bless her heart & has been falling more. My mom & aunt have broached the subject of possibly needing to get a "sitter" for her to help keep an eye on her. I promised grandma many years ago that she wouldn't go to a nursing home, that I would quit my job to stay with her, if need be. I intend on keeping that promise! I told mom Saturday that Eddie & I have discussed me being her "sitter" if it was decided to go that route. For one thing, we're very hesitant to just send any ole body in there to be with her...It's bad people can't be trusted now days but it's a big concern. I think we could get it worked out where I could still work a 12 hour shift at the rehab hospital once a week or so & still have her being watched over more regularly. We have even talked about the possibility of 'somebody' needing to move in with her. If it comes down to that, we are downsizing anyway & not planning to take anymore foster kids right now, so that shouldn't be an issue. I guess we'd just have to have another home inspection when we got settled again some where. See...over thinking again. Mom agreed that we are more "mobile" than anybody else in the family...everybody has their homes & families, pretty much rooted. We're kind of like the gypsies in the family, I guess. We know it will all work out, just trying to keep all options open.
Well this has gotten super long & I have tried to get my posts to show the short version instead of novel length but it hasn't worked. So don't get too overwhelmed (whoever might read this)! LOL Keep us in your prayers, please!!!!!!!

Still expecting God's guidance

Even after a few days, our fire is still burning for what the future holds for us. We are anticipating what the Lord has planned for us.
We did find out that our foster son will probably be with us another 6 months. It's "good" but it also means that is more time for him to be attached to us as a family (& vice versa) & then get uprooted possibly.
If nothing else, we will busy ourselves with clearing things out (downsizing) & maybe the Lord's timing will work out around the time the baby leaves (if he does), so maybe it won't hurt so bad.
I've gotta get started on learning Spanish. I really would like to set aside so much time a day to focus on it.
Oh! My good friend, Ashley, is interested in going on a mission trip too! She and her new husband have discussed it so we'll see if we can get them in on it too! She's been to Guatemala already & wants to go back some day. So we'll see!
We're so looking forward to Ken & Christie coming back to see what all they have to say! We're praying they have a wonderful time in TN at the COGOP Assembly. Hopefully they will get some info about their own trip & maybe some news for us to work on our trip!

Baby steps

We are so thankful to Ken & Christie for advice, guidance & patience with our many questions...and there will be more, guys, so get ready! LOL
This concept of missions just feels so right. I am so ready to start de-cluttering...I guess I'm just trying not to get my hopes up & afraid of disappointment (as it has been with trying for another biological child of our own, very temporary fostering placements, etc). I'm ready for something positive to happen in our lives (besides the 2 experiences we have had so far with fostering, which has been great but also heart-breaking too). I so want to know what God wants us to do.
We didn't go to the adoption licensing orientation class Monday, mainly because we didn't feel like that was as urgent as we originally thought. We're probably not even going to go to the class in Charleston because we feel like the money spent on the trip could be used in a better way, hopefully in the direction we're meant to be going. We think postponing some things as far as fostering is the right way to go right now. We have decided that once there is a decision for our present foster son, we won't accept anymore placements right now. We need to re-group alittle since we've been so busy with the kids we've had & need to get some things done, even if our future doesn't hold a mission trip right away...I'm even ready to clear out a good bit of the things we've collected just for fostering. I figure we bought a good bit of stuff second hand & will get it again later if we need it. Honestly, I don't think we will need it right away anyway...Besides, we might can make some money back & put towards getting our bills caught up and or put it towards our baby steps involving missions.
Before we even started discussing missions, we were talking about getting into a "taller", not so much bigger, just "taller" home. So it gives us 2 good reasons to clear out & prepare ourselves for what the future holds, whether it's a move to a taller home or checking out missions.
Today, I stopped by the P.O. to find out what it's going to take to get our passports. We have something to work out as far as Matthew's birth certificate but otherwise, it doesn't seem very complicated. Then Matthew & I went to the library. (Thanks again, Christie, for sharing your wealth of info!) I updated my library card & checked out some "learning Spanish" material. I'm looking forward to us beginning to learn Spanish as a family. I think that, along with daily devotions, will be a good mix.
I tend to over think things most of the time but hopefully with Spiritual growth & baby steps, we will have a total Peace about everything!